I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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