"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
