So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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