We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So squirting runs in the family.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
