He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm at about main and main street
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
