Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drake has all the answers
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
