she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize