Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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