Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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