who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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