you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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