The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
