Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
