There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
