Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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