im drinking this country out of the recession.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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