But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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