Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
