My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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