We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
