This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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