Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
