READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
