Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize