i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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