But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
