She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize