ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
