The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
