I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
