I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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