I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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