Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
