It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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