Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
