never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think I won the penis lottery.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
