I must be too annoying 4 u.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
