I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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