Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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