Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
