Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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