I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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