so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Never underestimate the power of titties
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize