wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
