i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
