so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
