Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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