We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
