Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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