How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
