I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
