She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
