This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
