He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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