Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
