I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
