You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
