remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
